Saturday, 9 June 2012

Porn for New Mothers

They say that having a baby is like throwing a wake for your libido. But it doesn't have to be that way. The ladies over at the Cambridge Women's Pornography Cooperative (CWPC) have devoted themselves to answering the question:

What really turns new mothers on?

It wasn't easy. They spent months in the lab testing all manner of titillation. They brought all sorts of men - blondes, redheads, tall-dark-and-handsomes. They tried them shaven. They tried them scruffy. They tried them clad, half-clad, and not clad. The response? Lukewarm.

Then a strange thing happened. A CWPC member's husband happened to stop by the lab with the couple's newborn. At that moment, the CWPC had this new mother hooked up to the sensors while viewing shirtless firemen. When she turned to see her husband nestling the baby in his arms, it happened. Her pulse raced, her pupils dilated, and respiration quickened. Eureka!

Using this data, the CWPC brought in other new mothers from the control group and had them view dads with babies. The readings spiked. And when they had the dads perform simple household chores, well, the pornometer went off the charts.

The CWPC decided to collate a book of explicit pornographic evidence, a public service of sorts, aimed at new mothers. Behold! Here are some samples:

Click for a larger view









Daaaaaammn now that's hot!

The book delivers full-colour photographs of fit dads doing what new mothers really want them to - getting up for 3 a.m. feedings, skipping golf to bond with the wee one, stocking the freezer with homemade baby food, changing every single nappy, complimenting mum's all-sweatpants wardrobe. It's all here. Page after page of these shots will make you weak at the knees. It was too much for me to handle so I'm sending you my copy!

Free Porn!!!

I don't normally do giveaways, but as The Alpha Parent blog is one year old today(!!) I'm going to make a celebratory one-off exception. You can win my copy of 'Porn for New Moms' by entering the 'rafflecopter' bellow. Good luck!

Win this bad boy!!!
a Rafflecopter giveaway

2 comments:

husmodern said...

rafflecopter!!!!!

Andi Bone said...

I actually can't stop laughing at this XD

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