The snobby side of parenting
Yikes, that's harsh...but I like it! :)
Totally agree with the breastfeeding pics. I had no idea it would take weeks to find our rhythm. But have to say that I have friends who formula fed and they never looked that happy or put together. They were going crazy too but for different reasons. Babies were colicky from the formula. One friend went thru 5 different formulas to find one her daughter could tolerate. I'll take sore nipples over that mess any time.
Wow, this is very inaccurate. Formula feeding is awesome and we LOVE it!!! I'm breastfeeding and formula feeding my baby right now and we waaay prefer the bottle. I still breastfeed so that she is getting some breastmilk but I hate it, it's not fun for me at all. And yes I love my baby, but, horror of horrors! I PREFER bottle feeding.
Well, as long as you hate it, you certainly shouldn't do what's best for your child. I mean, why should we have to make sacrifices for the well-being of our children, right?
I'm just going to call bullshit on the breastfeeding mom with rollers in her hair on day one. I don't think I brushed my hair for that first week! My breastfeeding experience was more like the "1 week later" picture for the first 5 months, thanks to MSPI, allergies, and reflux. I stuck with it though and at 9 months I can definitely say it does get better!
haha true about the rollers.
"I hate it, it's not fun for me at all." Wow, that's a great policy to use when deciding whether to do something or not. I think I'll stop cleaning the house now, FOR-E-VER.
So BFers are the only tired and crazy parents? ALL parents are tired the first day. ALL parents are frazzled by a few weeks in. Please tell me what the last picture means? That only BFers are happy and everyone else is miserable? This is probably the dumbest and most inaccurate thing I have ever seen. Oh, and good way to boost the confidence of new breastfeeding moms. That it is going to take months to finally feel joy. I am just shaking my head laughing at how absurd this is.
I am actually breastfeeding FYI, and yes I hate it but I am keeping on doing it for the good of my child. I just don't like how these types of blogs make it look like its all sunshine and rainbows and formula feeding is from hell.
What actually undermines new mothers confidence is the assumption that because breastfeeding is natural then it must be easy, convenient and bliss from the get-go. In most cases this is not so, rather the rewards come with time.
It took me 7 weeks due to inaccurate support and I hated every second of formula feeding. I persisted and now I am ebf my 8 month old. From 2 months old! Very proud of myself. I adore breast feeding. I feel like a proper mum now and I know I am doing everything natural and normal for my child. I hate how formal is in competition with breastfeeding, it is now sadly a lifestyle choice, what's convenient mainly.
I think what this blog is saying is the bf is not all sunshine and lollipops...but that the pay off in the end is worth it. Why do you *hate* BFing? If you hate it that bad you are not actually doing your child any favours by doing it imo, since that emotion is likely coming through when you feed your child.
It's not about whether you like it or not FYI. It's about whaty is best for the baby. Formula is the first 'junk' food you can give your child, it is so full of crap, high in sugars, it is not steril, and increases your babies risk of childhood illness, childhood cancer, obesity, allergies, diabeties. Now tell me you LOVE formula
Totally agree with this. I know mothers who formula fed because they believed Dad would be a big help. But guess who gets left getting up at night making the bottles? He's snoring peacefully and she's poking him in the ribs hissing for him to get up as the baby becomes more wakeful and cries louder...at this rate when he finally rolls out of bed everyone's gonna be stressed and mad and it's going to be much longer for them to get back to sleep....whatdya know, she may as well get up and get the damned bottle herself. Sure....there might be some families out there where Dads do their share of feeding (cue formula feeding trolls to chime in here 3-2-1....)but the truth is that the vast vast majority of bottlefeeding is done by mothers. I work in maternal health and I know there are mothers who think that bottle feeding is a way of keeping the dad interested in the baby....but they are mostly delusional. They end up losing out on breastfeeding. (many times the dad is outta the picture completely before too long anyway). She's left holding the baby and every single one of the bottles.
What about those that can't breastfeed because of low milk supply? I had a friend in my first mother's gp that was strict on bf'ing her bub when her milk supply was low - the kid almost died - he was so malnourished!!! When he started solids it was a Godsend because the poor kid could actually get healthy! I had another friend in another mg that did both because she knew her milk was low and he was a big boy. She commented to us on this photo that she would have looked like the woman in the bottom pic if she continued to bf. This pic has upset all of my mother's gp including those like myself that exclusively breastfed. Who the hell are you to judge that there is a better bond to your baby because you breastfed. At least Dads get a chance to bond too with formula bubs - and those that say that their's don't ... take a good look at that relationship! Now I'm not saying that either method is better than the other ... but why make mums that feed formula more guilty than they already do - we should band together not judge each other. In the end, we just want to raise healthy bubs and if formula was so bad ... it wouldn't be available. And by the way ... breast fed babies wake up more often in the night ... so it's not all sunshine and lollipops!
The answer to low milk supply is breastfeeding, not comp feeding with artificial baby milk. The more breast milk removed from the breast, the more milk the breasts will make. Breast milk is 80% water, and easily digested, thats why a baby will want to feed again within 1.5-2hours (from the start of the last feed, not the end) Artificial baby milk is full of thickners, sugars, and a whole lot of junk babies don't need, so their little bodies take longer to process it, which is why they go longer between feeds. Your argument of 'if it was bad it would not be avaliable' is weak at best. Cigerettes, alcohol, drugs are all bad but still readily avaliable. The market for such products will never be shut down because our governments earn way too much money through them (taxes etc) Breast IS BEST, and the world health org doesn't even place formula as 2nd best. So maybe you should do some research before you mouth off. This blog is wonderful, and yes it is pro-breastfeeding, if you don't like it, don't read it!
My baby is 4 weeks old n he is only on breast milk. As he was premature n wouldn't drink my milk his blood sugar dropped n he had to be bottle fed. I hated every minute of it but I had a lot of support in the hospital. They helped me feed him, even when I went home but I can understand why some women would give up. He is now only on breast milk n I couldn't be happier.
As someone who breastfed one kid and formula fed another, I think the breastfeeding one is sort of accurate (though for the first three months I looked more like formula picture #3 than anything else). And it's good to get the message out that breastfeeding is not all sunshine and lollipops at first.The formula feeding one is nonsense. What is even supposed to be happening in the last picture?
To ease the apparent confusion over the last formula picture (really, I thought it was self-explanatory) here's a hint:http://familiesintheloop.com/new-and-noteworthy/7987/i-hate-your-boobs/And to further spell it out I'd like to quote from a potent article where a formula feeder describes her feelings about not breastfeeding:"It was a relief at the time, the regrets come later. When you raise your head out of its sleep deprived state, when you ‘have your body back’ when your baby is not in your arms constantly anymore, when those chubby hands are caressing a plastic bottle instead of your breast. When baby gets excited at the sound of the bottle lid coming off, rather then you lifting your top. When your baby simply doesn’t smell like your baby anymore!When you stand with your seriously ill baby on your shoulder and you look at a breastfeeding display in the children’s ward, citing all the things that breastfeeding protects against, all the things that are making your baby so ill and you know that you have failed that baby.If only you had tried harder, the pain wasn’t really that bad if only, if only, if only………………."http://www.analyticalarmadillo.co.uk/2010/09/breastfeeding-whispers-bonding.html
I'm still confused, or maybe you are. Neither of those posts even remotely suggests that a typical formula feeder would be crying about it (complete with mascara running!) months later. The "I hate your boobs" post was written in a tone of jealousy tempered with good humor, not depression or sadness. The only mention of crying was in the context of pumping, not formula feeding: "You don’t always know who might be sobbing along with the “wish-wash” of the breast pump every morning, noon, and night." The Breastfeeding & (whispers) Bonding post seems to have been written by a convert who formula fed and now is a big advocate of breastfeeding, so it's not really representative of the ordinary formula feeder's experience. But even if it were, the only thing in the article that might suggest tears on the level of photo # 3 is the part about the mom of a "seriously ill baby" looking at breastfeeding advocacy materials. While a mom of a seriously ill baby would certainly be crying, that is not the typical formula feeder experience. I've known (online and in real life) a lot of formula feeders who wanted to breastfeed. Months later, most think it wasn't a big deal at all and wonder why they worried so much about it; some others feel something like "wistful regret"; some others feel anger at support systems that failed them. I've never met one who was sobbing about it months later. (The sobbing time is when you're still trying to breastfeed, failing, and reading breastfeeding websites.)Breastfeeding advocacy that demonstrates such a weird misunderstanding of what formula feeding is actually like doesn't help anything.
No I'm not confused. For every mother you claim doesn't care that she formula fed, there are several who do, even months later.http://www.babyexpert.com/forum/baby/still-feel-guilty-giving-up-breastfeeding11-months-later/60215.htmlSome mothers care, some don't. Can you guess which ones I was depicting in the above diagram? Also if we look at the mismatch between initiation of breastfeeding stats and continued breastfeeding stats, there's a lot of unachieved breastfeeding goals, which understandably leads to undesirable emotions. If you can't see that then perhaps *you* need to improve your understanding.
Of course there are several that care. I even *said* that some moms feel wistful regret or anger. But guilt, regret, anger, and missing breastfeeding months later are NOT accurately depicted by a photo of a sobbing mom with mascara running down her face. It's hyperbolic and silly.Also, if the moms you're talking about are those who have undesirable emotions about their unachieved breastfeeding goals, why are they happy and smiling as they formula feed on day 1? The sequence makes no sense.
To answer your question, they are happy and smiling because, at first, there is relief. They welcome the ability to rest, 'reclaim their body', share the feedings. However, over time, this changes. As I quoted above, "It was a relief at the time, the regrets come later".What image would you have used to depict guilt, regret, anger? I think a sad-looking woman is a satisfactory depiction of these emotions but each to their own.
I got lucky and never went through any of the tired, frazzled stages. She went from womb to breast, latched instanty and dream fed from day one. I got more sleep after she was born than i did in the last uncomfortable months of pregnancy. All of which has me convinced that #2 is going to keep me up for days. :)
News Flash: Becoming a parent means no body cares if you HATE something or if it's "not fun for you". Mothers breastfed because we know it's what's BEST for our babies and we make an unselfish choice! I would never let my son drink even an ounce of formula! Needless to say in my home we LOVE our child, so we LOVE breastfeeding!
Yeaah...I had to laugh at the implications that mothers who formula feed wallow in regret and fall into a tearful, depressed state months later. I have/am formula feeding two children, by choice from the beginning, one is 20 months and the other is 4 months. With neither choice did I regret it. In both the first few weeks and months later I made each bottle relieved that formula was a readily available option that I could choose without needing to give anyone a reason. Right now I'm formula feeding my 4 month old who sleeps through the night, and I am so thankful for formula when I hear of other moms who are still awake all night nursing at 8 or 9 months. Every time I can turn to my husband and say, "Hey, can you make the baby a bottle, so I can finish doing XYZ", I realize how much I love formula. With my now 20 month old, this grateful for formula feeling lasted the entire year that she was on formula. I never stood with a seriously ill baby and looked at all the benefits of breastfeeding, as (knock on wood! ;) I have never had a seriously ill baby. The 4 month old has never been sick and the 20 month old has had two minor colds that resolved themselves within 48 hours. I have never regretted my babies reaching for the bottle instead of pulling up my shirt. I hate pulling up my shirt in the middle of the day and I love snuggling with my babies, feeling their warmth, with a bottle in hand. I would say that perhaps I am not the norm, but everyone I know who has formula fed has been much more comfortable with mixing bottles on a relatively predictable (not forced) schedule and loved the fact that they have their body to themselves. Cute picture, though. ;)
I sent a link to your blog to a friend who is expecting. I sent her the post titled "Timeline of a Breastfed Baby" (I think I didn't get that title exactly right). The information seemed so helpful and I wish I had had it available when I was breastfeeding my children, especially my first. However, now I sort of regret sending it to her. I pray she doesn't stumble across this picture. Sometimes, choosing formula is best for both baby and mommy. This was the case for my first child but not my second. Mothers should not feel guilty when making an educated decision for their baby's health and their own. Shame on other women for casting judgement simply because they do not agree.
I formula fed my children, my oldest is 8. After 8 years, I am smiling, not crying. He is incredibly healthy (a cold is the worst illness he's ever had) and he's incredibly smart. Just FYI.
You say you happily artificially fed your babies, yet you obviously go out of your way to read pro-breastfeeding blogs. ??????
I hope you "perfect" mothers out there realize how hurtful your words can be to those of us out there that did EVERYTHING we could to breastfeed but couldn't.
Theres a big difference between 'trying everything" and just making a choice to artifically feed your baby. We all struggle at some point, thats why we seek help, from blogs, forums, breastfeeding counsellors, LC's. But to put a baby on artificial baby milk because they want to feed alot or seem unsettled is a poor choice. ALL babies are unsettled, all babies go through fussy periods, all babies sleep better when we are holding them, its biologically normal. Again, if you are so offended by pro-breastfeeding blogs, why troll them?
I want to call BULLSHIT on the last picture of the Formula feeding mother. THAT was never me. And I tried my DAMNDEST to breast feed. Frankly pretending that you're a better mother because you were able to or WANTED to breastfeed over bottle feed is complete crap. You don't know WHY the woman is bottle feeding and no matter the reason none of you have any reason to condemn a woman who chooses to bottle feed no matter WHAT her reasoning is.
I for one think I AM superior to any mother who formula feeds! Why? Because my 3 children recieved the milk that is biologically normal for them. It's organic, it's natural, and I compare artificial baby milk to MacDonalds. Full of complete SHIT! So before you troll a PRO BREASTFEEDING blog, why don't you actually read the tin of artificial baby milk and look at what you are actually putting in your childs body. It never ceases to amaze me that 150 years ago ALL babie were breastfed, not the 'upper-class' because they had wet-nurses but no one had the issues we come across these days. Food for thought.
I stumbled across this blog from a picture on Pinterest and have found it fascinating to read all this hoopla about breastfeeding and how formula mothers are basically worthless. It makes me laugh.
Some mothers have to formula feed, for a variety of reasons. Do they love their babies any less? No. Should they be crying and depressed about it? Some are-but they shouldn't be. They're feeding their babies and taking care of them. That picture is doing nothing but making ff mothers feel like shit. This is not what ANY mother should do to another mom. A mother agonizes over doing what's best for their children, drives herself crazy second-guessing her decisions, worries about her children...and knows how devastating it is for someone to tell them they're doing it all wrong and harming their children, and if only they'd TRIED HARDER, maybe they wouldn't be such a failure. The mother who posted this should KNOW BETTER.I know I'm going to get negative comments for this, but this actually makes me sad. Any mother who feeds, loves, and cares for her child should have support. Sadly, a lot of mothers don't even do that.