The Eroticism of Child Birth


It is late, later than usual. The lights are low and they are alone at last. Soft music is playing, with a familiar cadence. They have made love to this one before.

A faint but primal scent is in the air. The origin is certain; the fragrance is an unmistakable blend of the two of them. Everything is perfect, the time is right; intimacy is at its peak. Their gaze is unbroken; their union is penetrating, physically and emotionally; a smouldering combination. It is as though they have waited for months for this very moment, the anticipation is vast. They move back and forth in unison. The energy is building, one can feel the pulsation.

She is breathing heavier now; driven by her hormones she is moving to a familiar rhythm, he follows her lead. He caresses her, ever so gently, in all the right places, she lets him know just where. They have been here together before, but never like this. “Oh Yes! Yes please! Yes, thank you, darling. Oh right there, yes, oh baby. You are doing it just right.”

“I know she feels it too. I am certain she can feel our love and how much we want her to join us now. She is so welcome. Soon it will be just the three of us, like we imagined, together at last after all of this time. Just a bit more time and our baby will be here, for both of us to hold and love and care for. Here comes another contraction, move with me honey, that’s it, oh yes, yes, yes, OH YES my baby, yes.”

The miracle of life, it began with a sensual, sexual experience, it has been all along, and now it continues. Now comes the long awaited climax, after nine months of anticipation and building their energy for this perfect moment. Could it get any hotter?

The midwife knocks and asks how they are doing. With permission, she comes into the room and checks on their progress. All is good; and she leaves them to it. As well she should; this is a private affair; they get back into their rhythm. “Here comes another one my love”. They begin moving together, again. It is familiar and easy for them to recreate the ambience. Their love making goes on for hours to their own natural rhythm, it is the longest they have ever gone, I am sure of it. She progresses nicely. She is opening more and more. She is opening; receiving the father and their baby. The expectancy is palpable.

It is getting closer now, I can feel it. They are breathing heavier, almost continuously. She is letting go like never before and she is focused and concentrating and can feel it coming. This is going to be the one, the one she has been waiting for. Only a mother can know these things. The wave is building and she is riding it. It must be a tsunami; it is unlike anything she has ever felt before. Louder and louder comes the YES, OH YES! She could be riding a dragon for all she knows, no matter, she is riding this one all the way, nothing and no one can deprive her of her glorious climax. Her body is trembling all over, from the inside out. She reaches down there to touch; she can not resist the temptation. She discovers her baby’s head and caresses it. Then comes the onset of the most glorious orgasm any woman has ever imagined possible. Her body and mind are transported to another time and place, and she is more present that she has ever been. Ecstasy is hers. In a crescendo of sensation she lets go and receives the gift. She comes and so does their baby. Man, woman and child are all three united in the same moment as she receives her baby and brings her to her breast. Who has given her this gift? They have given it to each other. The miracle of love.

Some women orgasm spontaneously at the delivery of their baby. Many also experience pleasure and heightened ecstatic energy. Certain conditions are typically prerequisite for this to happen. These include a sense of safety, trust, intimacy and the ability to let go and relax. Also there are couples who make love, in various forms, during labour. There is hard science that shows that this can have significant benefits for the labouring woman. The hormone oxytocin is produced when a woman is sexual stimulated. Oxytocin is one of the hormones that encourage and support the onset and progression of labour as well as pain relief. Going even further, sperm contains prostaglandin, a hormone that helps the opening of the cervix.

The science is there, what if the passion, privacy and support were also. What a way to give birth… what a way to be born. What would life be like if it started in pleasure and empowerment, for the whole family?

This post was written for The Alpha Parent by Patrick Houser, author of The Fathers-To-Be Handbook. He is a freelance writer, Keynote Speaker and is co-founder of the Fathers-To-Be (F2B) initiative at F2B holds classes for men who are expectant or new fathers to help them understand and integrate birth and early fathering, from a modern perspective. They also hold study days for childbirth professionals/educators on fathers in the pregnancy and birth environment.